Written by Denise Stegmann on September 19th 2019. This post contains affiliate links from Amazon, meaning I may receive compensation at no additional cost to you.
9 Ways to survive a toddler Tantrum on a plane
Okay, I really don’t have anything new to share but maybe some perspective that might keep your heart rate down while you pack. There is no secret different way to deal with tantrums on a flight. The incidences triggering a tantrum might just be unique to the airplane situation. You are surrounded by strangers, and no one has a choice but to stay where they are- unique! Do yourself a favor and try really hard to not feel judged. Stay calm, cool and collected! Chances are that at least half the people around you are familiar with the toddler tantrum, and will feel your pain. Chances are also that at least half the people around you are listening to something completely different with their headphones. Even without your toddler screaming airplanes are already pretty noisy. But it always helps to have a plan, some kind of guide for what to do in this stressful situation- on the plane and on the ground.
I love the work by Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. They have published two books that are really helpful to guide you through all your difficult parenting situations. Every difficult situation is a learning opportunity, for you and your child.
I love the work by Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson. They have published two books that are really helpful to guide you through all your difficult parenting situations. Every difficult situation is a learning opportunity, for you and your child.
|
|
|
I'm also a fan of Janet Lansbury. I really recommend checking out her website www.janetlansbury.com/
She is all about seeing your children as capable human beings, communication and connection.
So everything you are going to read here will be a spin off of the above sources. If you see yourself as a parent who thinks that consequences are the answer to undesirable behavior you will most likely be disappointed by this list.
1. Prevent the Tantrum
You are probably aware that it's always easier to prevent a tantrum than getting your child to calm down while it's actually happening. Once your child is in the middle of a melt down it is probably impossible to calm him/her down quickly. So keep a close eye on your child. What kind of things might cause a tantrum? Maybe already make the event more predictable before the flight is happening. Maybe your child is excited about a certain snack. Say he/she can have the snack once you can see the clouds in the sky. And once again after the flight attendant has served the parents something to drink. Watch for body signals that would show you that your child is becoming tense about something. Be ready to talk to your child about any problem that comes up. This is your time to shine as a parent. There really isn't anything that might distract you from your child.
2. Acknowledge your Toddler’s Feelings
When you talk about feelings and name them your child will feel validated. Your child child will feel understood and have a word for the feelings and physical symptoms he/she is experiencing. Say "I see that you are angry because you can't unbuckle your seat belt right now. That makes you so frustrated". Feeling understood and being able to name the feeling should make your child calmer. Your child is connecting two parts of the brain that need to be connected in order to think.
3. Have your Toddler tell his/her Story
This is your toddler's situation. This is your toddler's story. Again two parts of the brain need to be connected to make sense of the extreme feelings your child experiences. Let your toddler tell you how he/she became so sad. "Tell me why you were crying and kicked your seat. I want to understand what made you so angry". If your child is not yet verbal try to tell the story for him/her "Your bunny fell down, you wanted to pick it up and you couldn't find it. Did that scare you and made you cry?"
4. Distract
This will work especially well when you know that your toddler actually doesn't feel very deeply about the situation. If it is a good time take your child for a short walk down the aisle. Just make sure you are not getting in the way of flight attendants or other passengers. Your child might even make a friend. The majority of people enjoy seeing children.
5. Maybe a Tantrum is just necessary
The crying and kicking might just be overdue. It might have been a long day and your child maybe already had to adjust to so many new and different situations. So this kind of melt down might be his/her way of stress release. Let your child have the tantrum. Make sure you give your child a hug afterwards. Obviously you need to make sure that your child is not going to hurt anyone, or himself/herself. Holding might be a way to prevent this, even though holding someone in a state of distress might actually worsen the situation. But if you reach this point on the plane, you might not have any other choice.
6. Give a Treat
Just another way of distraction. It might be a good idea to have very random, new and unexpected treats. Maybe it's something edible. Maybe it's a tiny finger puppet. I like to have little trinkets to give out throughout the travel day to prevent a tantrum, to distract or to reward my children.
7. Breathe with your Toddler
Ideally you have already practiced this with your toddler at home. Three deep breath make everyone feel calmer. You can pretend to smell flowers/spices or to blow out a candle, or blow a feather. Breathing will also help you stay calm in a stressful situation.
8. Use humor
"I think I saw an elephant flying by- do you see it?" Another way to distract your child. Laughing releases endorphins.
9. Give a Hug
Physical touch also relaxes us and makes us happy. Oxytocin levels rise in our bodies when we are hugged. Especially after a tantrum you can assure your child that you are there for him/her and make your child feel accepted for the emotions it just expressed.
You are probably aware that it's always easier to prevent a tantrum than getting your child to calm down while it's actually happening. Once your child is in the middle of a melt down it is probably impossible to calm him/her down quickly. So keep a close eye on your child. What kind of things might cause a tantrum? Maybe already make the event more predictable before the flight is happening. Maybe your child is excited about a certain snack. Say he/she can have the snack once you can see the clouds in the sky. And once again after the flight attendant has served the parents something to drink. Watch for body signals that would show you that your child is becoming tense about something. Be ready to talk to your child about any problem that comes up. This is your time to shine as a parent. There really isn't anything that might distract you from your child.
2. Acknowledge your Toddler’s Feelings
When you talk about feelings and name them your child will feel validated. Your child child will feel understood and have a word for the feelings and physical symptoms he/she is experiencing. Say "I see that you are angry because you can't unbuckle your seat belt right now. That makes you so frustrated". Feeling understood and being able to name the feeling should make your child calmer. Your child is connecting two parts of the brain that need to be connected in order to think.
3. Have your Toddler tell his/her Story
This is your toddler's situation. This is your toddler's story. Again two parts of the brain need to be connected to make sense of the extreme feelings your child experiences. Let your toddler tell you how he/she became so sad. "Tell me why you were crying and kicked your seat. I want to understand what made you so angry". If your child is not yet verbal try to tell the story for him/her "Your bunny fell down, you wanted to pick it up and you couldn't find it. Did that scare you and made you cry?"
4. Distract
This will work especially well when you know that your toddler actually doesn't feel very deeply about the situation. If it is a good time take your child for a short walk down the aisle. Just make sure you are not getting in the way of flight attendants or other passengers. Your child might even make a friend. The majority of people enjoy seeing children.
5. Maybe a Tantrum is just necessary
The crying and kicking might just be overdue. It might have been a long day and your child maybe already had to adjust to so many new and different situations. So this kind of melt down might be his/her way of stress release. Let your child have the tantrum. Make sure you give your child a hug afterwards. Obviously you need to make sure that your child is not going to hurt anyone, or himself/herself. Holding might be a way to prevent this, even though holding someone in a state of distress might actually worsen the situation. But if you reach this point on the plane, you might not have any other choice.
6. Give a Treat
Just another way of distraction. It might be a good idea to have very random, new and unexpected treats. Maybe it's something edible. Maybe it's a tiny finger puppet. I like to have little trinkets to give out throughout the travel day to prevent a tantrum, to distract or to reward my children.
7. Breathe with your Toddler
Ideally you have already practiced this with your toddler at home. Three deep breath make everyone feel calmer. You can pretend to smell flowers/spices or to blow out a candle, or blow a feather. Breathing will also help you stay calm in a stressful situation.
8. Use humor
"I think I saw an elephant flying by- do you see it?" Another way to distract your child. Laughing releases endorphins.
9. Give a Hug
Physical touch also relaxes us and makes us happy. Oxytocin levels rise in our bodies when we are hugged. Especially after a tantrum you can assure your child that you are there for him/her and make your child feel accepted for the emotions it just expressed.
Fun Toys for the plane
In my own experience it is best to keep it simple. Avoid brining too much, avoid bringing valuable toys that will be at risk of getting lost. Focus on the exciting surprise effect that a new toy might have. Also, focus on the container or wrapping of the toy. Just unwrapping a toy is an activity, or taking out and putting it back into a small pouch, this could be anything you might just have laying around. I always have a pouch with random little toys, like a car, play dough, stickers, tape.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Other interesting reads- Check it out!